the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
They have beer where we have blood.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
