hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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