i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
