Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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