I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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