I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
