seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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