i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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