We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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