i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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