I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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