glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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