I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
