you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
