I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
