drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
