At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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