She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
