he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
