I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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