If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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