i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize