i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
