He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
