Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
