normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
