She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
