I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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