I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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