he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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