so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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