so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
