Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
