just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
