and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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