Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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