I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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