I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
