I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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