There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Actions speak louder than pants.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she pinky promised me she was 18
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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