you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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