Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
