When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
