Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
