The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
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Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize