I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
