i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you have feelings for this penis?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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