One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
