So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize