I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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