Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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