I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
