i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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