so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
