69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
