I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
