so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Who died my cat blue again?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
