I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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