We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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