So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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