There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Congratulations! We have a period
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
