brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize